The story of a sub

Friday I did not go to school. I made a last minute decision to stay home with Trevor. Because of the last minuteness of my decision, I did not have a very good lesson plan: read independently for 30 minutes and then play quiet ball for the rest of the period. Simple right? WRONG. Julie called my Friday night and told me that one of my students that she has also, informed her that they played games all class period while listening to CDs (these just weren't any CDs, they were CDs that were in my personal closet that I usually lock when I know that I am going to be gone). So when I returned to school yesterday I was determined to find out what happened. It was the same story in every class. Some classes they did read, but only for a little bit, not the 30 minutes as I asked. One class told me that he told them to tell me that they read (when all they did was have a "party" the whole time).
This is the second time that I have had this sub this year, and the second time he has not done what I asked him to do. The 1st time I was in the school, walked into my classroom, where he was doing his own thing. Even though I told him we had already discussed those things, he still did it! So, he does what he wants, and goes through my cabinet...what else does he do? Did he eat my candy?
Good subs are hard to find. I had one sub that allowed for the game "are you chicken" where the students go up each other's legs asking are you chicken? until they say yes. I've had another one that brought a knife to school and was showing it to the kids. Oh, I can't forget the one that handed out all of my candy to my students. When they told that was my personal stash, his reply was "Oh well."
When I was on maternity leave I was so lucky to find Laura, an old college classmate who had a degree in English that took my classes. But she had to go and find a real job. That's where all the good subs are. They are so good they had real jobs!